Archive for April, 2012

I live for two reasons.

I live for two reasons. (1) I was born. (2) I haven’t died yet.

I hate it when friends change just because they meet new people.

I’m not fat, my stomach is just 3D.

Dear Google, If I don’t see what I’m looking for on the first page, I assume it doesn’t exist. Sincerely, Everyone.

MOM: “Hey why are you all dressed up? Where are you going? DAUGHTER: “To the bathroom, I need a new Profile Picture.”

Graduation speech: I would like to thank Google, Wikipedia and copy/paste.

Me: “Hey.” *2 HOURS LATER* Them: “Hi.” ……..No, it’s too late. I don’t wanna talk to you anymore.

I don’t hate you, I just..nevermind I hate you.

Roses are red, violets are red, tulips are red, bushes are red, trees are red.. HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE!

Those days when you wake up in the morning and you suddenly hate everyone.