Archive for May, 2012

It’s raining

It’s raining. I’ll update and alert all my friends who don’t own a window.

How to Save the World? (1) Make a document titled “The World”. (2) Save it.

Men socialize by insulting each other, but they don’t mean it. Women socialize by complimenting each other, and they don’t mean it..

I hate when old people poke me at weddings and say, “you’re next”. So now, I’ve started doing it to them at funerals.

Dad: “A bird told me you are doing drugs.” Boy: “You’re talking with birds and I’m the one doing drugs..?”

Two reasons not to drink toilet water: Number 1 and Number 2

When I’m bored

When I’m bored, nobody texts me

When I’m bored, nobody texts me. When I’m busy, I’m the most popular person on the planet.

Oh, you’re cooler than me? Then I guess that makes me hotter than you.

Danger is my middle name.

First name: Avoids
Last name: Completely