Archive for September, 2012


When I am singing a song

When I am singing a song and the artist gets the lyrics wrong.

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a midget

That awkward moment when you ask a midget what they want to be when they grow up.

Letting the phone ring so the person doesn’t know you’re ignoring them.

Oh, you liked my picture from four months ago? You obviously weren’t stalking me.

Maybe you should eat makeup so you will be pretty on the inside too.

Facebook

Facebook has been saving me money on birthday cards for the almost 5 years.

“Does this dress make me look fat?” “No, the fat makes you look fat.”

Things to do: 1) Dig a hole 2) Name it love 3) Watch people fall in love.

I’m not fat. I’m just so sexy that it overflows.

VIDEO GAME LOGIC: Everyone worst than you is a noob and anyone better than you has no life.