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“I’m hungry.”

Me every second of everyday: “I’m hungry.”

I don’t understand why people need to do drugs or party in order to have fun like have you tried Mac n Cheese.

Do you ever think about shit you did in the past and just go why the fuck did nobody punch me in the face

“Maybe it’s true that I can’t live without you.” – Boys Like Girls ft. Taylor Swift

I love it when I buy a bag of air, and the company is nice enough to put chips in it.

When there’s a bug in the room… “CHALLENGE ACCEPTED, MOTHAFUCKAAAAAAA!'” When you find out this motherfucker can fly: “Shit just got real”

BITCH I’LL BURN THIS MOTHER FUCKER TO THE GROUND NOW WHERE IS IT? Sir, calm down, your toy is under the McNuggets.

Pssst! Hey Patrick? “What?” “I thought of something funnier than 24” “What?” “25”

Has anyone else noticed that Miley Cyrus looks a lot like Hannah Montana?

That awkward moment when you’re in super deep thought. Then 3 minutes later you realize that youve been staring at someone directly